THIS PAGE IS NOT A BLOG, IT IS A JOURNAL

I just fucking deactivated my account so that I can escape for a while. Sorry.
I will never unfriend or block you unless you asked me to. 

I don't/I can't/I won't erase people in my life that easily, especially when I had a lot of good memories with them. Sure I had problems with my other friends before too.. but that doesn't mean I don't want them in my life anymore. Problems may always come along the way - but it'll make you stronger and wiser. 

In this situation I fully understand what you mean. Masyado kasi akong naging komportable sayo, ang kapal ng muka ko.
And for that, I am really sorry. 
For me, this kind of problem is just like the ones I have before. I know things will go back to normal again. You're just mad. It will go away soon.

But I am wrong. You're too mad that you want to delete me in your life too. But it's fine, I understand. I will return the things I borrowed even if you do that.

P.S.:
I can unfriend you, but I can never block you. Sorry if you asked me to block you, I won't do it. Block me instead if you wish. 

I feel like writing on my journal again.
I can't let it out. I just can't find a person whom I can tell it.

I have a friend let's just call her "Rin"(not her real name). 
She became my classmate this school year. I never thought we will be close friends, but we always have bonding moments, so I think that's the reason why we got so close to each other.
I have another close friend let's just call her "Ra"(sorry, I can't tell their real names) Eversince me and Rin became close, she got mad at me. Even to Rin. She always make us hear that "Let's get out of here, she already got a new friend". She's getting mean whenever I see her. We are ok for one minute and few more minutes she's mad again. This annoying mood makes me want to stay away from her. Of course, this time she's really mad. I know I got a new friend but it doesn't mean that I replace her already. I just want to have lots of friends. And so, with the help of some friends we make it out.

BUT NOW..... the same thing happened again. I had a new friend although I already knew her before, she's a sophomore, we live in the same village let's call her "Sica". Sica has some problems regarding her class. She told me that her classmates is bugging her. Since then, I tried to protect her, I let her come inside our classroom since my classmate always welcome her. So I thought that everything is fine. But it's not. When I realized where did Rin is gone too, Ra and my other friends told me that she went home early. Ra told me that Rin is annoyed. My other friend who's with Rin all the time that I'm with Sica told me that it's about Sica, it's like what happened with me and Ra before is happening between me and Rin. It's harder this time. She doesn't tell me what she really feels, unlike Ra who tells what's on her mind. It's hard to make a conclusion. She acts that nothing is wrong but it's obvious that she's moving away. Today we didn't talk too much. It's like that we have no bonds. Just an ordinary acquaintance. I think It's better if she tell it to me. She never give chance to me to be with her. So when she's gone I'm with Sica. I can't tell this situation to Sica. Everything might get worse. But really. I am trying to be a good friend of everyone. I can't say sorry, because I can't tell what's on her mind. I just realized "don't I have the right to have lots of friends?" Sorry if posting this in publice bugs your f-lists, I need to seek your advices to resolve this problem.

 hello minna~ I just want to ask if there are some scholarship programs in Japan, Korea, Singapore? I really want to study abroad so that when I graduated I could get a job there too. I just want to prepare for my future, I just want to improve myself and I know that they are advance and really have good teaching skills. can anyone help to find scholarships? 


thank you. :)